


Make Me Feel Stronger

by scorperion21



Category: Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Cursed Child compliant, Post Cursed Child, Potter brothers, albus is sad, james just wants to be a good brother, there are some swears, which he is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-09
Updated: 2020-03-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:33:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23081782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scorperion21/pseuds/scorperion21
Summary: Since returning back through time, Albus has been having nightmares; James is determined to be a good big brother and to not let Albus push him away again.
Relationships: Albus Severus Potter & James Sirius Potter
Comments: 9
Kudos: 60





	Make Me Feel Stronger

There is someone lurking outside James’ bedroom door. 

He had first become aware of it about ten minutes ago; the soft treading of footsteps he had assumed would pass his bedroom and head to the bathroom had come to a stop, the light strip at the bottom of his door being darkened by the shadow of one of his family members. He had called out a couple of times, but no one had answered. He figured it was probably Lily sat on the floor playing with one of her pygmy puffs, or it was one of his parents standing around checking that the children are asleep, so he just let them be.

Now though, there is a gentle, almost timid knocking, and James realises that it might be his brother hovering outside his door at nearly midnight. 

“Come in!” he calls again quietly, and sure enough as the door eases hesitantly open, Albus’ face emerges in the gap he’s created. 

“Are you okay?” James asks softly, putting the book he had been reading on his side table; this is the first time in a long time he can remember Albus actively seeking him out like this. 

Albus nods, but James thinks it looks almost automatic, because then he shakes his head and casts his eyes down to the floor. 

James realises this is a turning point in their relationship. Albus has been distant from him for a few years now; he had withdrawn into himself and pushed his family away almost simultaneously. James had noticed it happening, but at the time he thought that there wasn’t anything he could do about it. 

He realises now that that was a huge mistake; he should have firmly resisted the pushing away, and should have inserted himself into Albus’ life so steadfastly that there would have been nothing Albus could do about it. He will always regret standing idly by as he watched his brother become distant and removed from his family. 

He knows, in his heart, that if he had been a better brother then Albus wouldn’t have tried to run away. He wouldn’t have traumatised himself going on an adventure through time. And James wouldn’t have to hear Albus crying himself to sleep every night, wishing beyond anything that he could do something, no matter that every time he tries Albus pretends to be asleep or yells at him to get out. 

But Albus is here, now, and James isn’t going to blow it. Not this time. 

“Do you want to come in properly?” James suggests gently, and Albus nods before shuffling into the room and quietly shutting the door behind him. 

“Are you okay?” James asks again, noticing that Albus didn’t really answer him the first time. 

“Not really, I...” Albus trails off, his voice thick with something James doesn’t recognise but thinks might be tears, and he tugs the sleeves of his over-large jumper over his hands. James realises that Albus has probably had a nightmare (a not infrequent occurrence since the events of the beginning of his fourth year) and that he has been left feeling vulnerable. James knows a little of what Albus went through (mostly through eavesdropping outside McGonagall’s office and in the whispered and hurried conversations his parents have had about their second son) but even the dribs and drabs he’s heard sound terrifying. 

He supposes it must be even more frightening having to relive them every night. Sometimes he forgets that his brother is fourteen. That he is fourteen and he had to see one of his classmates die, that he is fourteen and he watched his best friend getting tortured, that he is fourteen and was there when the darkest wizard of all time killed their grandparents and he is _fourteen_. James knows that he wouldn’t be able to deal with all of that _now_ , never mind when he was Albus’ age. 

“Come here.” James pursues, patting the empty space beside him on the bed, and Albus looks slightly hesitant for a split second before he heads over and curls up next to James. James shuffles over closer to Albus. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks, and Albus shakes his head. James can see that his lips are trembling though, and his eyes are shining, and James realises that Albus is probably trying hard not to cry. He hates himself for that, hates that he has become someone that his brother can’t cry around. Before he can second guess himself, James reaches out and swiftly pulls Albus towards him in a hug. 

He expects Albus to fight against him, and though his entire body is tense he doesn’t pull away. 

“I’m right here for you Al.” James whispers, and then Albus seems to sag against him, the tension leaving him, and his shoulders start shaking as he breaks into quiet sobs. In a second, he brings his arms up to hug James back, burying his face further into James’ shoulder.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you.” James says, just holding his brother and letting him cry. He can’t remember the last time they were this close. James can feel tears of reciprocation pricking his own eyes, just knowing that his brother is in pain is enough to set him off, but he refuses to let them fall. Tonight, he is going to be here for Albus, and that’s it. He will refuse to make this about him. 

James doesn’t know what to say, if Albus even wants him to say anything, so he just waits until Albus has cried himself out. It takes several long moments until Albus’ sobs trail off into quiet hiccoughs and sniffs. James continues to hold him, wanting to push Albus into telling him what’s wrong but not wanting to make Albus withdraw from him again. They sit in silence for a couple of minutes until Albus pulls away and wipes at his face with his sleeve. 

“Sorry.” Albus says quietly, poking the damp patch he has left on the shoulder of James’ hoodie. 

“It’s okay, it doesn’t matter.” James insists. “Do you want to talk about anything?” 

“No, it’s okay. I kind of just want to go to sleep.” Albus says, and James is a little disappointed. He doesn’t know what was going to happen, but he was hoping that he and Albus could at least begin to repair their relationship a little bit. His hearts lighten a little at Albus’ next words. “Would it be okay if I stayed here?” 

“Yeah of course.” James’ reaches out to squeeze Albus’ shoulder, and Albus’ mouth flickers ever so slightly into a smile before he shuffles down the bed into a lying position. James follows suit, and turns so he’s facing Albus. “Okay?” 

Albus nods, and closes his eyes. James isn’t sure if it’s because he really is that tired, or if it’s because he wants to avoid having the conversation he has probably guessed James wants to have. Nevertheless, James waits until he’s certain Albus has drifted off to sleep before closing his own eyes too. 

\- - - 

James is woken the next morning by his dad, shouting Albus’ name, and then each of his other family members in quick succession. 

“What the fuck?” Albus mumbles next to him, slowly hauling himself up, his eyes blinking wearily into the weak sunlight of the room. James shares his sentiment, but also isn’t entirely sure that he’s woken up yet. 

“Al? Ginny!” Harry shouts again, and James concludes he _isn’t_ dreaming. Before he can shout anything, the door of his bedroom bursts open and Harry looks wildly into the room. He clocks Albus, and his expression immediately sinks into relief. 

“What’s going on?” James says, but Harry has rushed over and hugged Albus. 

“Dad, what are you doing?” Albus grumbles. Harry lets him go. 

“Sorry, we saw your bedroom door open so we went to check on you and you weren’t there. We got worried you ran away again.” 

Albus’ expression softens, and James feels like he’s intruding on something. 

“I’m not going to run away again. I was just with James.” Albus says, and Harry nods, ruffling Albus’ hair. 

“Harry?” James hears his mum shouting from somewhere in the house, and Harry gets up and exits the room. 

“It’s okay, he was with James!” Harry shouts, before turning back to look through James’ open door. 

“Are you okay?” Harry asks, and Albus nods. Harry smiles, and then does an awkward little wave before turning and heading down the stairs. 

“ _Are_ you okay?” James asks, and Albus rolls his eyes. 

“I wish people would stop asking me that. I’m _fine_.” he grumbles. James should know better than to argue or contradict him; Albus isn’t the most sociable at the best of times, but in the mornings he is even less so. James can’t seem to stop himself though. 

“And what about last night? Do you want to talk about that?” 

Albus doesn’t say anything, just draws his legs up to his chest and wraps his arms around them, dropping his chin to his knees. James figures that he’s not told him to get lost so saying nothing is better than that. 

“Albus?” James presses softly. Albus closes his eyes for a second and when he opens them to look at James, they’re filled with tears. James closes the last of the space between them and hugs him again. 

“Sorry.” Albus whispers brokenly and James hugs him tighter. 

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for.” he whispers back firmly. Albus pulls away from him and settles back against the pillows again. James does the same, and he has a feeling that Albus is about to tell him what’s wrong. 

“I just had a bad dream last night. I’ve not really _stopped_ having them since... well you know, since everything that happened. And sometimes they’re about what happened and sometimes they’re about other stuff, and...” Albus trails off and looks away from James, picking at a hole in the duvet. And then he says, so quickly and quietly that James has to strain to hear him, “last night I had a dream that Delphi killed you and I wanted to make sure you were okay. Which is stupid because you never even met her and she’s in Azkaban so of course you’re okay.” 

“Oh, Albus.” James feels his heart aching for his brother, and he reaches across and squeezes Albus’ arm. “I’m sorry about the nightmares, and you know you can always come and find me if you need too, even if you think it’s stupid. And I’m so sorry for everything that happened to you.” 

“It’s not your fault-” Albus starts, but James cuts across him. 

“Yes it was, it was my fault Albus-” James starts to argue. 

“How did you figure that out?” 

“Because I was a terrible brother to you. If I’d have been better then you would have come to me and I could have helped when you’d had that argument with dad and you wouldn’t have run away. I should have stopped everything that happened to you, and not just all the stuff last year. All the teasing you and Scorpius get at school-” James can feel every regret about his relationship with Albus pouring out of him, and he wants, no he _needs_ , Albus to understand that. Albus could have had a much easier life if he had just stepped up and been the person that Albus needed him to be. 

“Stop, stop, James, _none_ of that is true. You’ve been a really good brother to me, it’s not your fault that I’ve been pushing you away. And even if I’d come to you, I would have probably still run away but you would have been dragged along as well as Scorpius and then all _three_ of us would be miserable. And you’ve got your own life and your own worries and things to deal with at school without looking out for me all the time.” 

“But I should, I _should,_ be looking out for you. My one job in the whole world is to look after you.” James isn’t sure his point is hitting home, but then Albus looks up at him the way he did when they were younger. James remembers that he used to find it annoying that Albus would follow him around all the time, until he got a bit older and realised that having a younger brother look up to everything he did was incredibly endearing. He wonders when Albus stopped looking up at him like that. 

“You do look after me James. I see you trying to speak to me after class, I know you try and come and help when I’ve had a nightmare. And I know that you _do_ stick up for me and Scorpius at school. I heard what you did to that Slytherin seventh year.” Albus says, arching an eyebrow. 

“Of course, he was a dick.” James says, and the corner of Albus’ mouth twitch into an almost smile. Just before breaking up for summer, James had overheard someone talking shit about Albus and Scorpius and how it was their fault that Craig Bowker had died. It didn’t matter that James didn’t know who it was, or that they were older and taller than him, or that he was surrounded by some other seventh year friends. James had hit him and the fight that had ensued after that had left James with a broken nose and a few cuts and bruises. The other boy hadn’t faired so well either; James had heard that he had been in the hospital wing with a broken jaw and some missing teeth. 

“You see, you do look after me. I... I pushed you and dad away because sometimes I feel that I don’t belong in this family but I’m starting to see that that’s not true. Honestly, I am. I’m sorry for everything I did to us. Remember when we were younger and you would get annoyed because I followed you around all the time?” 

James smiles ruefully, feeling a sense of happiness that Albus would pick that when he was thinking about it mere seconds ago. “I was thinking about that just now. And it stopped getting annoying after a while you know, I actually started enjoying it.” 

“Well, you’ll wish you hadn’t said that because I’m going to start following you around again. I want to properly let you back in my life. You’ll always be my brother but I want to be friends too.” 

“Man, when did you get so soppy?” James says, grinning, because really can they be brothers without a little teasing? He thinks he’s said the right thing, because Albus smiles, swiftly pulling a pillow out from behind them and hitting him with it. James grabs it and hits him back, but gently, because he knows Albus has an aversion to play fighting. “I want to be friends too.” 

“Thanks James.” 

“It’s okay. Are you feeling any better?” James asks, and Albus nods. 

“I think I’m going to try and come to you more now when I want to feel better, if that’s okay?” 

“Of course that’s okay. I’ll always help you if I can.” 

“I know.” Albus grins, and James can’t help it, he pulls Albus into another bone crushing hug. 

“Am I going to have to put up with your hugs all the time now?” Albus’ voice is muffled, and even though it sounds like he’s complaining James doesn’t think he is. 

“Yes, yes you are. Love you baby brother.” 

“...Love you too.” 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed my first Potter brothers fic! Please let me know what you thought, as I have never written them like this before and I'm a bit nervous about it, I would really appreciate it thank you!
> 
> You can find me on Twitter at: @scorperion21


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